patchmonkey.net

Today, while leaving work, a giant tree branch damn near smacked into my head. Missed by maybe 6 inches. This just goes to show, i should have left work earlier….

YOUR MOM!

In the SAT’s, you routinely saw things such as: If A then B. Well lets apply it here: If I joined a gym, then I would be in shape. So to extrapolate it: I have joined a gym; I am in shape…..ah, if only.

Ah, to muse. That is what I shall do. As my ATD likes to start every conversation off by saying, “Sooooooooo….” what shall we talk about today? How about thermonuclear weapons? No. I don’t really want to talk about that any more then you would want to read it.
However, I have taken over a corner of Jerry’s page for a very good reason. And if I could remember that reason, I would share it with you. But the Tanqueray I had last night must have licked that thought out of me (stupid, surly bartender).

I think I’ll start by writing a list to my ATD, Andrew, who will never read this, as to what he should not do:

1. Please do not hover over me, it makes me think you’re a misquito and I have half a mind to chase you around with the fly swatter.
2. PLEASE do not even attempt to tell me how to basecoat. 4 years of college, one of those enduring Lino Toyos, various summer stock productions, and being the charge artist at them mean I probably have half a clue as to what I’m doing.
3. Could you just not start every conversation with “Sooooooooooo….” it’s far too reminiscent of Lumberg from Office Space.

I’ll end the list there for now, but keep in mind, I’ve only known this guy for a week and only talked to him for about 3 days! This list will grow, my friends.

But really, what you need to know is that I’ve started with this small section of Jerry’s page, and I’ll not stop until I’ve taken it all!! Site domination will be mine! Until then, though, I’m outtie. Peace!